In Mark 12 Jesus is confronted by a teacher of the law who had evidently been sitting in and around the conversations that we’re going on between Jesus and the other religious authorities that day. He’d noticed how Jesus had skillfully avoided their theological traps and turned numerous questions around so that the other religious authorities scrambling desperately for answers. This teacher was impressed and so wanting to see what Jesus was really about at his core he asked, ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?’
Jesus answers by quoting the ‘Shema’ from Deuteronomy 6 and outlines what he’s about by basically saying, ‘God alone is God, therefore love him with everything you have.’ What is striking is that he doesn’t leave it there, instead he adds another commandment, ‘love people as you love yourself’. The teacher only asked him for one but he gave two – why? Surely it must be because loving God is intricately wrapped up with loving people in this world. Whilst loving people is not all there is to loving God it is so closely connected that Jesus connects the two. Very simply, we cannot love God and not love people.
On Saturday I sat at a lunch table at a homeless shelter with a young guy from the Cape Flats, a Zimbabwean refugee and an elder Xhosa man far displaced from his home desperately looking for work. They were all very different from me, and to be honest conversation was hard and awkward, but Jesus says I have to love them, becuase I claim to love God. May we pray that God would give us the love for all his people that his Son so evidently displayed when he walked this earth.
Good, helpful reminder. Any ideas (practical ones) how to love people who annoy us?
Someone very wise told me that we should just take baby steps at first. If you sit and really think about this command and what it really calls us to it can overwhelm you to the point of inactivity – there are so many people out there that are just so difficult to love because of our sin and because of theirs. So start small – just do something nice for that annoying person, whatever it is – just make a start and work from there.
I like Stephen’s advice, and that’s what I am trying to do with someone who I find very difficult to deal with but am in a situation where I can’t avoid that person. I completely understand that he must have been mistreated in the past and that he is very distrustful of people and overly sensitive. I also understand (though this is a hard one for me!) that his insensitivity to my requests (door slamming) could actually be “just” thoughtlessness. I try to focus on his own gestures of kindness. The annoying things are so overwhelming though! I don’t even like talking to him because he is so bitter about people. I always try to move the conversation to a brighter topic, but that requires effort when I am overwhelmed with my own problems. Maybe these strategies sound fine, but I still find it hard to cope with this person – and to love him. I would appreciate more advice on how to love people that annoy you. Also, could Stephen or someone else explain what it means that it is difficult to love people “because of our own sin.” I’m a big believer in the theory that you need two people for even a slight friction or just dislike between people. It is not only that there is something “wrong” with the other person, but that something is happening with you too that you need to address. However, I wasn’t sure that I understood the comment about sin, and I would really like to learn more. Thank you!
Hi Andrea – thanks for your questions. With regards to your annoying friend – I’m afraid I have no advice that will make it any easier, I really think that’s just the nature of things this side of heaven. Remember that Jesus calls on us to die to self daily and this is where the sin thing enters in that I talked about in my previous comment. If we were sinless we would be able to obey that command to die to self completely every single day. However, because we struggle with remaining sin in our lives, even as Christians, we will fail to completely die to self everyday – i.e. we will continue to find annoying people annoying.
If we stop at this point though we will drown in dissollusionment. And so its at this point that I think we need to turn to the Cross of Christ – we need to look to the perfect example of love, sacrifice and obedience, we need to know that that act has been applied to us and that because of it we are no longer slaves to sin, we might still struggle with sin, but it is no longer our slave master. Instead it has been replaced by Christ and his sacrificial life, a model for us to follow. So Christ becomes both the model but also, and importantly for our discussion, the motivation too. We have no other alternative but to turn to that grace and continue in it.
Stephen, thank you for your advice! It has a lot of meaning for me – it is inspiring.